Muppetry by Anna Nutherthing

What can I say? Sorry for the delay

2008-04-17T20:38:00.002Z

I am now fully, 150% employed and loving it! For a guy that has spent his life chasing the "Yankee Dollar" this is a turn up, a new set of events, a seed change! I am now working for (with?) a Fairtrade company, and all we sell is (are?) nuts! Not of the bolt variety, the peanut, cashew and Brazil types! All Fairtrade, all fantastic... and more importantly I work with the best, most eclectic and diverse team you could imagine, and they all think the same way on one simple issue - a fair days work deserves a fair days pay, simple as that really! Very different people in every other way, but that's what makes a great team! There's a Scot, a Greek, a Colombian, two Canadians (one French), a Northern bird, nope two Northern birds and then there's me and the MD, both UK Southerners!

Overdue Update

2007-10-26T14:33:00.000Z

What can I say? I've been busy alright? I have been wasting yet more time talking to recruitment consultants (this word can be abbreviated by removing these letters "o-n-s-l-t-a"...think about it!

I have had 5 interviews with a major japanese company that threatened to hire me and now has been bought by another company resulting in a headcount freeze! That's not annoying at all!

I have worked in the local pub but to be frank that would me up, some of the customers are just sooo stupid! Customers that walk in and without so much as a "hello" ask "Do you sell beer?" WTF! Or others, that sidle up to the bar, look at everything before them and then ask "What Lagers do you have?" Muppetry!

I have delivered Adult Learning schedules for the local council, haven't been paid yet but I guess these things take time. On Sunday I'm off for a well earnt holiday! Ha ha I hear you scoff, holiday from what? Holiday from this screwed up country for a start, holiday from people bitching about not being able to smoke, holiday from people being stabbed and killed to death whilst walking down the street, holiday from stupid laws, holiday from speeding traffic, holiday from fumes, from expensive beer, from not having a job and being bored most of the time, isn't that enough?

I might just look for a job in Portugal while I'm there!

2007-06-27T16:58:00.000Z

http://farm.tucows.com/images/2006/06/data_bsod.gif

Not long now....2 days in fact!

2007-06-27T16:07:00.000Z

Until I finish here in this godawful job! The powers that be (The MD that is) emailed me with a summary of my leave, it looks a bit like this:- (my comments in blue)

10 x 1/2 Days Taken (trying to find alternative employment) so that's 5 days
1 + 1/2 Days Sick with foot (fell off of highly illegal ladder in this warehouse, didn't complain or make any compo threats, just got on with it, but penalised nonetheless) so that's 1.5 days
1 Day Compassionate (I took it as that, they didn't, actually I had 3 days off ha ha) another day
So 8 Days Holiday taken - 10 Due, 2 to be paid...

The compassionate was for when my Dad died, yes a blood relative, Father in fact, it doesn't get much closer than that does it - but no compassionate leave, just leave, if you want to take it, you know your allowance, or you can have it unpaid of course! Thanks!

22nd May 2007

2007-05-22T14:21:00.000Z

I've taken the plunge and resigned my job! I'm going to leave for Devon at the end of June, get myself and my Mum sorted and then move to Spain, well, that's the plan at this stage anyway. Time to take life by the scruff of it's neck, stop whining about the UK and do something positive!

Al Qaida Manual

2007-05-21T15:44:00.000Z

Much as the obvious connotations here are probably both sinister and evil, being found in possession of an Al Qaida Manual is not in itself against the law is it? Surely that is what freedom of speech / expression is all about? Not sure you can have it both ways!

What a weekend....

2007-05-21T08:31:00.000Z

The Mighty Blues rightly take the mantle of FA Cup Winners, again! Ferguson claims Giggs was wronged out of a goal, the muppet! The best Giggs could of hoped for is what happened in that he DIDN'T get booked for fouling the keeper! So that's two bits of silver to Man U's one then, excellent!

I have yet again stopped smoking.

I am to become a Godfather to little Harry, which is both an honour and a privilege. I will now have 3 Godchildren, almost a virtual family!

Unfortunately my friend Matty is in hospital having had a suspected heart attack, that is a worry, but then he's as tough as old boots so he'll probably be alright....get well soon mate!
UPDATE: Acute angina (there's a joke there somewhere), change of lifestyle and the old boot will be ok, phew!

Tories! No sooner do they achieve a landslide victory in local elections than they announce that they no longer support Grammar Schools. Good job they didn't mention that a few weeks ago, landslide would have been a muddy puddle methinks!

Madeleine McCann

2007-05-08T12:04:00.000Z

I know the parents must be out of their minds with worry, and I feel for them, but what on earth were they thinking? You just don't leave kids in this day and age (unfortunately). The super softy liberal lefty laws in Europe generally have enabled paedos to go about their sick business with impunity!

They'd better find her and damned fast, oh and alive and well too or this will have a devastating effect on tourism to Portugal!

Iberians, do NOT underestimate what you now have to do, every man, woman and old enough child needs to be out looking for this little girl! God help the sick SOB that took her if the authorities don't get to him first!

Unbelievable!

2007-05-02T10:36:00.000Z

See this link, have a chuckle! The ultimate in salesmanship....

Oh Jose!

2007-05-02T08:03:00.000Z

Jose, can I say something please? Yes, I know you think you're the Special One and that you tell us that Chelsea played better in the first leg, the first half of the second leg and even in extra time but the fact is playing better is not good enough, scoring goals is what it's all about mate! Liverpool beat us 4-1, how you can claim we played better amazes me. They were the better team, more structure, more passion and painfully more goals. I know all about "Special" people.

There are more "children" banged up in prison now than at any time before. Good! If they're criminals that's exactly the right place for the little scroats. Will they re-offend when they come out? Probably. That's what they've chosen as a career! That's why they need to remain locked up.

What a strange day...

2007-04-27T11:04:00.000Z

Peter Andre (husband of Jordan) has had a brain scan and they found nothing. No surprise there then. There are calls to outlaw underage drinking entirely despite the fact that it's been legal for parents to allow their offspring to have "a little taste" for years, and it never did me any harm at the occasional family celebration. Oh of course, I'm forgetting, parents can't be trusted any more, my mistake.

Another scam by a bird! WTF???

2007-04-25T16:00:00.000Z

Right so I join a dating site and after a little while I get this message from some bird who likes my profile, well that's how these things are supposed to work right? So I click on her profile and it says she's a 28 year old single bird that lives in Manchester. Great, not exactly gonna meet up for lunch then are we! Anyway, we start chatting on Yahoo Messenger, haven't seen her photo as yet as it's not on the dating site - she says she prefers to select males rather than just be selected by all sorts, that kinds sounds reasonable. She sends me her photo, she is quite cute, slightly bigger bum than ideal and slightly out of proportion boobs (small) but hey I'm no oil painting either and beggars can't be choosers. I discover that she is primarly a fashion photo model, she's quite tall too at 5 ft 9, and blonde. She's going on a shoot in Nigeria in the next few days, now anything about Nigeria rings alarm bells with me but I continue chatting telling her she needs to be careful out there etc etc. She immediately starts defending the place ringing yet another alarm bell. A few days go by with no contact then all of a sudden she's online, supposedly in Nigeria, supposedly in between shoots, supposedly earning a fortune, supposedly having a great time. Another day or two goes by and up she pops again. This time there's a problem, she has been paid but by cheque, she can't cash the cheque and she doesn't have any cash on her as she thought she was going to be paid in cash, all £14000, why wouldn't you expect that! Yeah right! So, guess what she wants. She wants me to send her some money so that she can get home (she only bought a one-way ticket!). End of conversation, dating site advised that she's a scammer. I bet she was never anywhere near Manchester, and is probably a big fat sweaty Nigerian who lives in a hole in the ground with her 14 kids from different fathers. Stupid cow!

Cameron's crap

2007-04-23T07:59:00.000Z

Tory leader Cameron today announces on BBC Breakfast a radical approach to community that is being paraded by him and his cronies. Radical stuff, all about the realisation that government can "announce" as many initiatives as it likes, but until it makes parents responsible for their children, and there are consequences to their action and non-actions then nothing, repeat nothing will change other than the continuous decline in moral standards, the lack of respect for authority and the lack of respect for other people.

Someone has to have the balls to stand up and say this, at the risk of losing the underclass vote, he's just paying lip-service to it of course, as usual, I forsee no change other than continued decline and despair.

Cars and phones..

2007-04-17T16:25:00.000Z

Government message one: "You are 4 times more likely to have an accident if you drive whilst on the phone!"

Government message two: "Driving whilst using a mobile phone is as dangerous as driving whilst drunk!"

So, why on earth aren't the sentences the same? On the way into work I had a girl behind me with her phone to her ear, for at least a mile, this is when I decided to slow to a 15mph crawl so that she wouldn't have an accident and die, or worse, kill someone else. That is when she started trying to go around me, it was a single track road, she hit the curb twice, oh and she was still on the phone all this time! I know where she works as she's about 3 units down from me....at the lights I got out and told her why I was driving so slowly, she told me to travel for sex! She did eventually get past me you see so then I followed her. I might make a call to their HR Manager, it's a big credit scoring company, you'd know the name. Oh, and she was blonde, possibly still is but she may be an airplane blonde, I'm not sure.

Russian bride part III

2007-04-13T16:44:00.000Z

She's still trying to tempt me to send her money, I like her tactics, they almost work....

Still believe in global warming?

2007-04-13T16:02:00.001Z

Right, go make a coffee and if you're a smoker grab your fags, this will take a few minutes but is well worth the investment of your time:

http://www.predictweather.com/global_warming/index.asp

Tooth trauma

2007-04-13T11:06:00.000Z

Scenario; 3 months ago, pub quiz, Stag & Hounds, bag of pork scratchings, lump comes off a tooth, doesn't hurt though so business as usual. Yesterday, massive tooth pain. Today, visit Dentist, £140 (£65 of that was consultation and x-rays) later tooth is now no longer associated with me. Rubbish tooth! Must have been a 2nd, or a friday afternoon tooth or something, anyway it's gone. By the way, excellent Dentist, a young Lady actually which does make being a wimp a bit of a problem, trying not to shake too much! The New Langley Dental Clinic - first class!

Russian Brides update!

2007-04-05T12:19:00.000Z

There sure are plenty of women in Russia desperate to escape. I guess we have a picture in our minds of what Russian women might look like, certainly the older ones, some of which have replied to my ad', some as young as 53!

Then there's the exception, the girl that claims she is just a plain old genuine girly keen on finding Mr Right, happy to relocate, not especially attractive and doesn't really feel that she fits in in Russia. I thought I would take a look and see what depth of personality , humour and character she had, maybe there would be someone genuine there, someone that could become a friend. After all, she said she's looked at my pics and thought I could be the love of her life! has to be worth investigating....this is what I found....

Guess it must be tough finding someone when you look this average! It's gonna cost money, she hasn't asked me yet but I somehow think she just might! :-)

They told us...

2007-04-02T15:49:00.000Z

That Saddam had WMD
That Saddam could launch WMD inside 45 minutes
That they wouldn't tax us any more than before
That they were a sleaze-free party
That humans are undoubtedly responsible for global warming
That everyone would have access to an NHS Dentist by 2001
That public sector workers would always get a rise equal to inflation
That they were going to be tough on crime
That they were going to be tough on the causes of crime
That they were going to be tough on illegal immigration

Hmm, should I then believe that those GPS co-ordinates were right and that the Navy bods weren't actually in Iranian waters...?

Parish Council

2007-03-30T15:47:00.000Z

In case it has passed you by you will be voting for local elections in May. I have been asked whether I would consider standing? I am considering standing. I was also asked, if I considered standing, what would my party preference be, Tory or Lib Dem? My answer: neither. Their answer, but if you nail your flag to one of the major parties they will pay your campaign expenses. Thanks, but still not interested.

To my way of thinking, despite it being the bottom of the pyramid, local parish council has very little to do with national party politics. Ok, I agree that some higher up political decisions may impact on local planning issues, or mileage charging, or speed cameras etc but essentially local issues are local issues and should be decided by locals interested and motivated enough to discuss options, agree a strategy and execute that strategy. There are 14 councillors required to represent approx 11,000 people in this parish, I have lived here 15 years and can name only two! I will be Independent, my manifesto (if you call it that) will be done in Word and printed off, it will also be on the www with a forum for discussion, that won't cost much!

Time for a change I think, let's see if the electorate agrees!

Mail-order Brides

2007-03-29T11:40:00.000Z

One of the many spams I get concerns Russian Brides. Beautiful women that, it would seem, will kill to escape the tyranny and poverty of Russia / Ukraine / Belarus as well as their seemingly permanently drunk and allegedly violent menfolk! I had a quick look around the website. Seems interesting, certainly there are some gorgeous creatures on there. I haven't had a lot of luck with the Ladies lately so I thought what do I have to lose? I posted a profile, with pictures! Not one of the desperate Russian Ladies has replied.

UPDATE: Ah, yes they have, wow! Cute too, wonder how much this is gonna cost me!

TV Licensing

2007-03-29T08:20:00.000Z

About last April sometime I realised my TV License had or was about to expire so doing the decent thing I went online and bought a new one, it was about £135 I seem to recall. I was issued with an internet receipt which I still have. I think , but I'm not sure, that the licence itself arrived sometime later. As we are fast approaching the anniversary of that event I am trying to renew the licence, albeit at my new address as I have moved in the interim period.

I contacted TV Licensing (run by Capita, the same people that run the Congestion Charge) and they have no record of the licence at my old address. They have asked me for the licence number, I don't have the licence and only have the internet receipt. The number on the internet receipt is not one that can be used by TV Licensing to find my details - that's really useful then!

It begs the question of how they know which properties do and do not have a licence though, particularly as you can no longer buy a licence at the post office and they are pushing us more and more to the internet! Muppets, all of 'em!

Just bizarre...

2007-03-28T16:53:00.000Z

...Misery is in the office, to be fair to her she's dreadfully worried about the health of her ailing Father-In-Law who has had loads wrong with him lately. He's in hospital again for tests, he has fluid somewhere, didn't quite hear. So, stupid fuckwit sart ifrican asks "Do you think ut's cincer?" FFS! Misery is down enough, she really doesn't need your verbal stumbling and hypothetical stupidity! Muppet, muppet, muppet! I have never before felt the need to physically strike a woman......

2 minutes to go, thank the lord! She's still dribbling....

More diarrhea

2007-03-28T16:34:00.000Z

"Ma dawta has an ah infiction. What should ah do?" said the nutty sart ifrican. "See the doctor." says Misery. "Is it?" says the sart ifrican.....

I mean, what sort of conversation IS that? Why wouldn't a Mother know that if you have an infection you go and see a Quack, FFS! She's still dribbling on.....and why does she say "Is it?" all the fucking time? And why does she glide around the office at 1 yard per minute, her thighs rubbing her corduroy trousers together so that she sounds like she's some sort of percussion instrument! Why does it get to ME so much? I need a beer....

This episode takes place between Iran & Iraq

2007-03-28T12:33:00.000Z

Jack has been asked by the Vice President to take a small flotilla, actually a couple of RIBs, out into Iraqi waters to take a look at a foreign vessel that happens to be mooching about. What he didn't tell Jack is that he had arranged for some CIA to be out there too in order to dob them in to the Iranian Navy and tell them that the yanks are actually in Iranian waters. The Iranians are not fired upon by Jack or his crew so as to avoid "an incident" though they would have been within their rights to do so. The Iranian Navy takes Jack et al back to Tehrahn and interrogates them all, they know nothing as they were told nothing of course....now, you wouldn't make that up would you? Would you?

This IS now an incident and Tony Bush gets involved. Tony pushes Iran for the immediate and safe release of "our boys and girl". Iran fails to respond positively. Tony calls up big Brother Bush for advice, Big Brother Bush says to give them a limited amount of time and if they do nothing then threaten a swift and decisive military intervention (which the yanks will help us with of course). Now, what happens is Tony Bush ends up having to go along with Big Brother, and Big Brother now has a reason to attack Iran who were next on their list in any case! And what better timing could there be when BB Bush has 150,000 or is it 250,000 troops and sophisticated military hardware just next door?

The Washington Post was debating a pre-emptive attack back in 2004 when relations with Jack Straw (Jack of Tehran) broke down. Now they have a reason.....

Verbal diarrhea

2007-03-28T08:13:00.000Z

"Did yu si the accident at thi junction? Ah thought thit the police were only called if someone was hurt?" This is just the start of the daily tirade of drivvel that emanates from the mouth of my white African colleague in the office. I don't recall which part she's from, it might be Zimbabwe or some other godforsaken corner of that continent, I just wish she'd go back there. I find myself counting the seconds in between drivvel spurts, now we're up to nearly 30 seconds, can't be right, has she died? 42 seconds and she's off again....but now she's wispering so I can't quite hear, this is ever so slightly more annoying than hearing her!

Now my other colleague is calling her daughters school to explain that her daughter won't be in today as she's missed the bus! I used to cycle 7 miles each way but hey, I guess things have changed!

Lighten up.....

2007-03-23T17:41:00.000Z

...it is Friday after all. Wonder what tonight holds in store? Ok, yes I know really, down the pub, copious amounts of the black stuff followed by an arse killing curry! Seriously thinking about Parish Council, can't decide, maybe you'd like to comment and let me know what you think...? I know that currently the council is comprised of various fossils and centres around Tory and Lib' Dem'. I wouldn't be either of those and no, I wouldn't be Labour either. In my view party politics has a very limited role in local policy decisions. In my eyes, things that need to be addressed or at least put high up the priority list are (in no particular order):-

Heavy Goods Vehicles using the High Street as access to the M25 / M40
Litter and fly tipping
Loitering with no good intent and facilities for younger residents
CCTV and general crime prevention measures
State of the roads in the village
State of the pavements in the village
Analysis of community charge disbursal
Improved communications with residents (web, blog, email etc)

Please feel free to add to the list as the reality of representing is listening to people's concerns and raising them at the right meeting. Also if anyone is interested in offering sponsorship (ie picking up some or all of the tab for my campaign) then let me know.

The Village Popular Front comes forth!

Gordon the Gonefer

2007-03-22T17:26:00.000Z

Couple of things. One, why is Gordon Brow meeting with the Irish political leaders and not someone that knows about that suff? Surely there's an Ireland minister or similar that should be heading that up? Also, if Gordon is a true Socialist why is he taxing the low earners more than anyone else and why is he stiffling smaller businesses and giving the money to the likes of Tesco? Those in this country unfortunate enough to earn under £10k or even £15k will be hit hardest by yesterdays budget, that's a fact. Gordon stands to get £9bn back by taking away the 10p tax in favour of jumping straight to the new and improved 20p tax. The man's an arse!

Shall I stand for parish council? That's the next thing on my mind. This has absolutely nothing to do with politics by the way, it's 100% about ensuring that my community is managed the way the people feel it should be, bugger all to do with left, centre or right but then again if I stand with one of the existing parties all my campaigning expenses will be paid....hmmm, still better to be independent methinks!

Changing the subject...

2007-03-22T17:21:00.000Z

...I have chapped lips due in the main to the very cold weather, particularly when I was down in Devon at the weekend. A friend accidentally left a "Lypsyl" at my home so I thought I'd give it a try. My lips are now more chapped than they were. I looked at the contents of this so thought inocuous product and you know what's in the stuff...read on!

Petrolatum
Paraffin
Tocopheryl Acetate
Benzyl Alcohol
Cinnamyl Alcohol

Now, these are just some of the constituent parts and I know it's a long time since I did Chemistry but surely alcohols dry things out, don't they? Is this stuff actually making the problem worse so that people continue to use it? I haven't used it in two days and even with snnow and bitter winds (nothing to do with my kebab last night I assure you) my lips are better.

See ya Dad....

2007-03-22T09:33:00.000Z

Waking up Monday knowing that we were going to my Dad's funeral was tough. I had slept in his room since getting down there, I had looked in the drawers in his room, seen his cuff links, the pen I got him for his birthday years ago, the birthday cards he'd kept, some years old. I looked at his clothes in his wardrobe, all very neat, ironed and ready to wear, Mum had looked after him very well. I saw the cases, his old, and I mean very old LP's of Sinatra, Ella and Ted Heath's Big Band Sound. These were the things that were part of my Dad. I found his writings, his poems about me, my Brother and our Mum - he really felt very lucky that she loved him. I hope he knew that we loved him, I know I didn't tell him often enough, typical bloke, good firm handshake but that was as affectionate as it ever was. I wore his aftershave and cuff-links to the funeral. I said some words about my memories of my Dad, my Brother recited a poem that he had written, it was quite excellent. My Brother nearly lost it a couple of times, who can blame him. Mum was ok, although she does seem to have changed overnight from the authoritative, dogmatic, strong-headed woman I have known for 43 years into a little, older Lady. I do hope she can cope with being alone, and I hope she doesn't get too lonely. I know my Brother will keep an eye as he lives so close. I feel helpless living 200 miles away but I'm trying to get her to use MSN messenger. I have installed it on her new laptop that she is having lessons to use. Her wireless broadband is better than mine!

Whilst I wouldn't have wished him to be ill, it would have been easier to come to terms with his death if there had been some sort of lead-up to it. I know that sounds a dreadful thing to say but if I can't be honest here, where can I be? Just to die, suddenly, without warning, just not on! At least he and Mum were together, it could have been worse, she could have found him dead somewhere or he could have dropped dead in the high street, that would have been awful.

It's going to take some time to get used to this. If you're reading this somewhere Dad, thanks mate! Thanks for everything. Sorry if I disappointed you.

CO2 emissions...pah!

2007-03-16T13:25:00.000Z

So it now transpires that global warming caused by man is bollocks. It started when someone said if we generate a load of CO2 then we might affect the global temperature, this was after 3 decades of FALLING temperatures. This was a "might", not a "will"! There is an amazing documentary on youtube that absolutely everybody on this planet needs to watch. You can find it here in one piece: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XttV2C6B8pU

or you can find the same thing in 8 x 9ish minute parts which does make it easier to digest. It is quite extraordinary, it WILL blow your socks off and it WILL make you question everything you're ever told again. What is unclear is why the myth is still being paraded as fact unless it is because the developing nations such as India, China etc are doing so well that they threaten the established western nations such as America, Britain and Europe in general. We are being taxed more and more on CO2 emissions, we will probably soon have an "allowance" but this really is the Emporers New Clothes, it's a complete sham, it is bogus and it needs to go away.

This is not good...

2007-03-14T09:35:00.000Z

...I'm struggling, I have to admit I thought I'd be better at the mourning thing but I'm crap. I know and understand that mourning is a very selfish emotion, in that it isn't going to do anything for my Dad, it's just about me. It's a whole mix of thoughts; about my own mortality, how my Mum's gonna cope, should I really be wasting my life doing what I'm doing when life is short, am I living to my Dad's expectations and standards etc etc. None of my thoughts are clear, none have outcomes or conclusions, I'm not making plans I'm just drifting along in a dream, or rather a nightmare. Add to this a small amount of anger at my Dad just "checking out" without warning, without me being able to say thanks for being a great Dad! All I can offer to anyone at this stage is this really is not fun and YOU MUST avoid it, make sure you talk to those you love while you can, don't make my mistake!

George Griffin 1933 - 2007

2007-03-10T16:20:00.000Z

My wonderful Dad died Thursday March 8th at 19:15pm. Rest in peace Dad, I'll miss you tremendously.

Sharp things...

2007-03-08T13:12:00.000Z

In the movie Casino there was a guy killed when a pen was smashed into his eye, yes right the way in! That must smart! I have heard of people being killed with hammers too, and chainsaws, pieces of wood, cars, even electricity but of course none of these are banned.

Now if I were the sort of person that flew into such a rage that I wanted to kill someone I would use the first thing that came to hand, well within reason. Paper can give you an annoying cut but it is rarely lethal and isn't much of a weapon. No, I would pick up the brick, hammer, kitchen knife whatever. Fortunately I am not that sort of person. Banning things doesn't stop them being used....nobody ever put a gun down in mid attack because they are banned! All banning things does is increases the price and drives availability underground. Banning samurai swords is just plain stupid, but hey we live in stupid times with a stupid government that thinks we're all stupid so I guess if the cap fits....sigh.

The time is coming...

2007-03-08T09:42:00.000Z

...when we will have to say right, sorry but enough is enough, we have followed the law, we have paid our taxes, we have been good community members, and we have been shafted, repeatedly, from every angle. Maybe we should take over. Maybe Community Watch (basically "watch" the lawless ruin the lives of the law-abiding) should become Community Act!

I have never been a fan of vigilantyism but I'm sorry to say that I am beginning to think that there is little option. When I was young I was educated by my amazing parents as to what was right, what was wrong. I was repeatedly told and given plenty of loving opportunity to learn and if I still didn't get it, the lesson was reinforced with minor corporal punishment. This was fine, it did me no harm. Now though anyone can do anything and they are untouchable which fails to build either learning, community or respect but does reinforce apathy, disaffectedness and a "fuck you" attitude to all things normal people regard as right.

So, how do we move forward? The Police Insurance Service can't do it, the courts and prisons can't (and won't) do it and the people can't do it without fear of becoming the criminal. Well, maybe, just maybe it's time to say bollocks to the system that doesn't work, let's try something else, something that we know stops men in their tracks, debilitates them instantly and focuses their mind in what's at hand, yes you guessed it, a swift kick in the gentlemans area!

Victimless crime

2007-03-08T09:07:00.000Z

Cannabis. Don't use it myself but it seems it's a Class C drug with Class A sentencing attached to it (unless you're name is Pete Doherty and you have a Class A drug using B list girlfriend as well). It isn't a killer and the fact that it's illegal means the law is obviously wrong. A little old lady grows it (doesn't buy it from a dealer), grows it in her wardrobe and puts it in soup and cakes to ease the pain she suffers from, she shares it (doesn't sell it) with other pensioners with similar ailments. It works, nobody is hurt by it. She's been sentenced to community service...I think she's already doing her community a service! The thing is this, there's enough for the Police and Courts to be getting on with, why oh why go for the low hanging fruit of crime, the misdemeanours on the fringe of right and wrong? And why bother anyway, as far as I'm aware no other citizen has made a complaint, nobody has been wronged, nobody is injured, out of pocket or traumatised. Go catch the real wrongdoers, there's enough of them out there!

Fat people should eat Pot Noodle

2007-03-07T17:10:00.000Z

I'm serious. They're almost tasty, have only 5% fat, no artificial colours or flavours (can vouch for that bit) and best of all they repeat on you all afternoon which will serve as a reminder (every few minutes) to fat people that they have already eaten. Genius!

Imagine the scenario....

2007-03-07T06:50:00.000Z

You run a company, ok? Your products are usually the most expensive and certainly not the best as you stopped apprenticeships years ago so all the "old school knowledge" is gone, the employees you have that do anything at all are taxed higher and paid lower than anywhere else plus you have another large team that is paid to do absolutely nothing at all, your pension scheme has all gone wrong and in fact probably won't pay anything to anyone in a few years time. The good people are all leaving for the competition so all you get left with is the dross. You have far too many unmanaged people in "Admin" that spend fortunes on new systems to try and cover up the failings of the other new systems they have implemented, and all the entrepreneurial people that want to get "out there" are being persuaded not to drive anywhere and have their feet and hands tied with miles of red tape! Your marketing sounds alright but you usually fail to deliver, you have massive debts, a diminishing asset base and no centralised or transparent accounting system leaving you blind to what is really going on in the business. Add to all this that your Executive team is only in it for the money, they lie to you and your customers regularly and can't be trsusted to put the bin out! So, what would you do if you were CEO of Britain PLC?

UPDATE: If you had "inherited" the mess then you have every right to change it, or try to (good luck if it's your go next). If you "created" the mess, then you should just admit you're about as good at being a CEO as Kate Moss is at picking boyfriends and resign, or jump off something at least 10 times your own height.

Illegals...

2007-03-07T06:32:00.000Z

...to get a text message telling them to go home! Yup, that'll do it, it's a fair cop guv! Why on earth we didn't think of that before I have no idea, why not use the same system for Paedos: "Please leave the playground immediately." Or better still people that use their mobiles whilst driving: "Put the phone down, right now!" John Reid I salute you, misunderstood genius!

You couldn't make it up...

2007-03-06T14:12:00.000Z

http://burningourmoney.blogspot.com/ (worth keeping an eye on this blog)

Take a look, then weep. This is OUR money being put to no good use, usually to cover up previous cock-ups and disasters. Lady Tony of Downing is doing really well isn't she!

Examples:-
Another £200m on temps- "Spending on temporary staff by Whitehall has run up a bill of £200 million over the past four years at a time when the Government is supposed to be firing thousands of civil servants.

£450,000 to rename Passport Agency- "THE Passport Service has spent almost half a million pounds of public funds – just to change its name.

£63,000 Riviera trip- "Regional development agency One NorthEast has committed itself to spending up to £63,000 leading a delegation of property professionals for a four-day conference on the French Riviera.

£3,000 Barcelona trip- "A GROUP of senior Royal Bolton Hospital managers is to travel to Barcelona for a three-day conference at a cost of almost £3,000 - despite hospital bosses preparing to axe 95 jobs to balance the books.

£300,000 early retirement- "A SENIOR local government official is to be paid more than £100,000 in taxpayers' money on top of a £200,000 retirement package after convincing councillors to make him redundant.

£7m to sort Dome invoice fiasco- "Lord David James, who was called in to sort out the Dome's finances after it opened seven years ago, recalled a phone call from a businessman whose firm had worked on the Dome and was receiving a £100,000 cheque every month.

Total for week- £207,816,000

Walking to the pub...

2007-03-06T11:17:00.000Z

Last night. Pissing down with rain. In order to keep my specs as dry as poss I'm largely looking down, plus the pavement is so shagged that if you don't look where you're going you'll trip and break an ankle. Anyway, what do I see? Litter everywhere! Why is that? Why are people so disrespectful of their own country that they want to ruin it? Why do little scroats go by me at 70 mph in a 40 mph zone in their stupid noisy little shitty Corsas? Why can't I get a full pint of Guinness in the pub? Why is everything so damned expensive here? Why are we governed by muppets, policed by the powerless and assaulted by the indifferent every day? Tell you what, I've a good mind to fuck off somewhere nicer....nicer won't be hard to find!

Who owns the television? We'll take it anyway.....

2007-03-06T08:52:00.000Z

"Now, one of the most essential branches of English liberty is the freedom of one's house. A man's house is his castle; and whilst he is quiet, he is as well guarded as a prince in his castle. This writ, if it should be declared legal, would totally annihilate this privilege. Custom-house officers may enter our houses when they please; we are commanded to permit their entry. Their menial servants may enter, may break locks, bars, and everything in their way; and whether they break through malice or revenge, no man, no court can inquire. Bare suspicion without oath is sufficient." James Otis, 1761.

It appears our right to sanctuary in our own homes is under threat. See this article in yahoo news:- http://uk.news.yahoo.com/05032007/140/bailiffs-card-debt.html

9/11 doubts? Read this......

2007-03-02T12:56:00.000Z

http://www.911truthseekers.org/modules/smartsection/item.php?itemid=1

This guy seems to me to a) know what he's talking about and b) done the research and involved other experts too.

Petrol, every little helps!

2007-03-02T09:11:00.000Z

Or.... "Very little help!" Hundreds of cars coincidentally start stopping and all the petrol retailers basically come up with is "It wasn't me!"

Ian Hillier of the Trading Standards Institute said the problem only seemed to be hitting cars using unleaded petrol.

Genius! That narrows it down! FFS!

Update. It seems that the "Big Boys" in petrol retailing have admitted that the unwanted extra silicon in their fuel was their responsibility, so well done, if a little late!

Call it like it is in Oz!

2007-03-01T17:15:00.000Z

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/03/01/winsults101.xml

Forgiveable? Well, no, not really!
Allowable? Defo, freedom of speech etc!
Funny? Most definitely!
What most heterosexual men think? Yup!

Virgin v Sky

2007-03-01T16:51:00.000Z

No contest in my book! If you're a new cable installation they'll have to dig up your driveway or part of your garden to lay the cable, normally leaving you with a fugly hole on the front of your house. Then you find out you can't watch "24" so game over really!

I wonder if Mr Branson will allow people to cancel their "minimum period" contracts now that they can't watch the only thing really worth watching????

Want to remotely control your cable box from your bedroom using infra-red extenders? Easy with Sky (and costs less than a tenner), tricky and some have found it impossible with some cable boxes as they use a different system of Infra-red - great (oh and it could cost you £60 if you can make it work)!

There is no getting away from the fact that Sky are astoundingly arrogant and their customer service is generally speaking appalling but they do carry good programs so you pays yer money and makes yer choice.

Virgin Media - about as much use as a paint chart to Stevie Wonder!

Chips!

2007-03-01T12:48:00.000Z

www.lovechips.co.uk is a government funded website! Apparently the British Potato Council draws £6.5m per annum from taxes on Potato producers to tell us to eat more chips.

We have super-sized our kids already so what sort of message is this? Unbelieveable....

Where'd it all go wrong?

2007-02-28T17:17:00.000Z

Generalisations:-

The Police lost respect in the 70's by stitching people up. Even though they "knew" that villain had "blagged on their manor" they still should NOT have manufactured the evidence. They got caught loads of times (The Birmingham 6, The Belfast 4, The Renault 5), we as a country over-compensated by being nice to villains and gave them more rights!

Parents of our current little darlings were just growing up, they saw respect for authority falling apart and ended up with an often deep-rooted mistrust of a "Force" we used to look up to. Those same parents challenged the authority of the teaching profession, who hadn't done themselves any favours with many cases of apparent abuse of children coming to light. We over-compensated by being nasty to teachers and undermining the profession, and gave more rights to children.

Immigrants came to Britain largely on two levels. Highly educated (often in our schools) or as the under-classes that would happilyish do almost anything just to earn a crust. The under-classes were often abused by unscrupulous employers. We over-compensated by giving ALL immigrants what seems to be more rights than home-grown people thereby creating resentment and dividing societies. The immigrants formed their own social groups.

In all cases it seems we play to the lowest common denominator. Now we have a Police Service with no real authority except to stop people speeding or as of July 1st, smoking! We have kids with zero respect for their teachers or even their parents, we have disaffected parents that can't cook and nurture kids four times the national average size and we have immigrants that walk on water to our green and pleasant land and rape and pillage with impunity! Tony, you've done a great job mate, cheers!

2020 Vision Website....from short-sighted Labour!

2007-02-28T16:30:00.000Z

http://www.the2020vision.co.uk/

Let's look at it in more detail using their headings...

Radical Reform
I guess is is radical to go to war with no real motive on the back of the desires of another country. I guess it's also radical to sell Peerages. It's radical that the Police can't solve crimes and that criminals have more rights than victims, that we can't even recycle rubbish properly or that we have "allowed" the worst of the European Union to blight our policies, culture and individual rights.

Empower Individuals
What empowerment have I had in the last 6 months having had 2 cars vandalised outside my home? What empowerment did the Policeman have that apprehended and prosecuted the individuals involved? What empowerment did I have to ask the scroats parents to cough up for the damage. The answer is none whatsoever. How was the protester opposite Parliament empowered by having all his hoardings removed? How are teachers empowered when their pupils answer back? How are NHS staff empowered when they are attacked doing their jobs?

Reward Aspiration
Rewarded with taxation. Is it 47 new taxes now since Labour took power? That's really rewarding and really inspires me to work harder and make more money! Red tape for small business continues to become more cumbersome, rights of employers to let go people that are obviously not up to the job are severely hampered. All the rewards seem to go to those that play outside the civilised society rules. Rewarded for being unemployed, getting pregnant and claiming benefite maybe!

Spread Opportunity
Yes, the opportunity to rip someone else off with the fear of being caught or prosecuted. Opportunistic theft and vandalism is rife. The opportunity for someone to come to my country and take, take, take from the state because the EU says so! No opportunity for the likes of me under this regime!

Tackle Intolerance
Intolerance of what? Bad haircuts? Short measures in pubs? Bad driving? Poor grammar? This is too vague to be a title. Racial intolerance or the rantings of extremists never has been tolerated in my book. Most people I know, regardless of their religion, don't go shouting about it or slagging off others..apart from Mad Mick of course! The non-caucasian vote is important so yes I guess you had to say something!

Provide Security
Provide it to whom? Most people are scared to walk down a dark street at night, or to use public transport of an evening. If I catch someone in my flat I can't damage them! What security do I have? The burglar has more rights than me and yet in my book by deciding to rob me he gave up all his rights!

Protect the Environment
Yeah right! Ministers mileage expenses have gone through the roof, our own PM flies away on long-haul holidays, Red Ken travels the length of the country in a taxi, we fail to recycle prioperly, we fail to incentivise people to deploy solar power, wind power or any other sustainable source, oh but we pay lip service to it!

Dialogue & Debate
Oh yes, such as the EU Constitution, the war on Iraq, the smoking ban, mileage charging...all up for debate are they? Nothing decided yet....of course and Judith Chalmers DOESN'T look like old luggage! Bunch of arse!

The reality is that you need to be in power to do anything, and frankly I can't see that happening, nobody surely is gonna make the same mistake again! Like the design of the site though (which is abit like answering "Do you fancy her over there? by saying, "Well, she has nice shoes!"

Another Watch Phone, with camera!

2007-02-28T14:38:00.000Z

http://www.mobilewhack.com/reviews/f88_wrist_watch_mobile_phone.html

Fantastic!

Ban MacDonalds

2007-02-28T13:20:00.000Z

That's what HRH The Prince of Wale wants! Well, naturally, as a British citizen he has the absolute right to freedom of expression, as does anyone else. However banning MacDonalds is a stupid thing to say. Are we going to ban Fish & Chip shops too, and Burger King, and KFC? Free enterprise and freedom of choice are paramount. Parents that allow their offspring to almost "live" on these products are of course stupid. Another example of parents abdicating their responsibilities. Utter, utter shite!

Sensible people have a "treat" now and then, Macdonalds is NOT a staple diet. Eating it occasionally in conjunction with an otherwise balanced diet and some excercise will do nobody any harm whatsoever.

Colds...

2007-02-28T11:25:00.000Z

I have a strange one, a cold in just one nostril! How stupid is that? One very tickly and sneezy left side of nose and a left eye that runs, everything on the right side is hunky-dory! Bizarre!

Am I experiencing a cold in two halves? Will I get the right side cold next week? Not sure this is fair. Maybe there's a political analogy here?

Community Service for Immigrants to the UK

2007-02-27T17:08:00.000Z

Talk about missing the point! It's not about that, it's about ensuring that ONLY the right sort of people are allowed in, it's not about dumbing everyone down to the lowest common denominator by ensuring they have something of the British culture. That's bollocks and will put off "good" people that want to come here.

Let's be like Australia and have a policy that simply says..."If you can add value to Britain, you are welcome!" Nail to that a points system that checks out their background, their work ethic, their financial standing, their qualifications etc and you have a workable policy whereby we end up with La Creme De La Creme. Screw the European mandate that says thou must take in fellow Europeans even if they are low-life murdering scroats.

Oh, and while you're there, kick out all the scroats (yes, even the home-grown ones) that don't qualify as well cos we don't need the strain on the funds that our so called government manages to squander on a daily basis!

8 year old boy, nearly 15 stone

2007-02-27T14:52:00.000Z

Who's fault? Unless he has some disorder the blame lies firmly at the feet of the parent(s). Full stop. Take the child into care to save his life. Eight year olds do NOT dictate what they eat, they eat what they are given or go hungry, it's old fashioned I know but it's called learning!

All the things that are supposedly wrong with kids these days are down to parents. Drugs, thieving, criminal damage, not being able to read or write, bad manners, you name it, it's the parents fault. Parents abdicate responsibility, they say the schools let them down and then when little Johnny smacks his teacher in the mouth (cos he can) the parents blame the teacher! Great thought process that one!

When I was a kid (yes it was a while back) we had equal respect for our teachers, police and parents. Fear of a thick ear (from any of them, with my parents absolute sanction) didn't do me any harm!

Chelsea 2 Arsenal 1

2007-02-27T11:17:00.000Z

Nuff said!

...and the added delight of seeing Fabregas showered with Celery! Fantastic!

About time...!

2007-02-27T10:10:00.000Z

Just had a call from a guy in Devon (sounded like a farmer) enquiring about one of our products, the upshot is that he's going to quote "turn the internet on in a minute" which will obviously be a relief for everyone else on the planet who have no doubt just been sitting about twiddling their thumbs!

How cool is this...?

2007-02-23T09:55:00.001Z

http://www.mymobilewatch.com/specification.php

Commit the crime, do the time....

2007-02-22T12:58:00.000Z

Absolutely agree with that maxim. However, it has to be fair and when it isn't fair or it's wrong then it needs correcting. See this here link: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22022007/325/man-wrongly-accused-9-11-loses-court-battle.html

This guy was wrongly arrested over terrorism charges relating to 9/11, locked up for 4 years and subsequently found to be innocent of all but not disclosing something on his pilots licence that may have rendered him inelligible to fly.

"His lawyers had argued at the High Court that Raissi had suffered loss of liberty, distress and psychiatric injury as a result of his arrest." Sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

"He was later cleared of wrongdoing in extradition proceedings in front of a British judge, who said U.S. officials had failed to present any evidence to back up accusations that he had links to terrorism."

So, how much do we compensate him? We don't! In fact we seem to contravene his human rights still further by refusing to compensate him! This is just not right. Have a set of rules by all means but deploy them fairly and transparently and admit quickly when you fuck up!

Ricardo Quaresma....

2007-02-22T08:41:00.000Z

....twat! You know, whilst Champions League soccer is exciting etc it's also quite tedious watching all those foreign johnnies that simply want to fall down writhing in pain at the slightest touch of their hair! It's also equally tedious watching a ref' fall for the play-acting!

FFS it's a contact sport played by so called grown men, stop fucking falling over and start playing quality soccer of which you can be proud...if I were Quaresma I would be thoroughly ashamed of my performance last night, I'd also be quite scared that someone might hit me with their handbag!

What's wrong with Britney?

2007-02-21T11:25:00.000Z

Well, frankly, you've confused me with someone that gives a toss! She did look hot in the schoolgirl outfit, I'll give her that but she's only had one single release in 6 years and she now makes more money out of perfume than music!

Come on, the girl is allegedly worth $100m, how tough can life be? It's no wonder Kevin Federline (or FedEx to his mates lol) buggered off!

Mileage Charging

2007-02-21T10:02:00.000Z

Tony Bliar emails 1.8 million people outlining basically what might be happening. Very inconclusive, very non-commital and anyway, he lies so what's all the fuss about. You can tell when he's lieing, his lips move!

Council Houses

2007-02-20T13:34:00.000Z

Apparently you can now leave your council home to your offsping in your will. How ridiculous is that? Local Authority provided housing should be offered on a means tested basis only, after all it's the rest of us that pay for it! It should be offered only to those that need it and it should be retracted if / when circumstances improve. At the moment you could have a multi-millionaire lottery winner living in a home subsidised by you and me, and they can then leave it in their will!

People should be encouraged to strive for more, it's not greed it's evolution, each generation should be more successful, educated, aware and healthier than the one that spawned it. Help people to be better? Yes! Help people to stand still? Most certainly not!

What? "Bombs kill up to 10 in Baghdad, 20 bodies found!"

2007-02-20T10:53:00.000Z

They must have been beside themselves!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070220/ts_nm/iraq1_dc_10

The Insurgents

2007-02-20T09:19:00.000Z

A newly formed tribute band, covering the hits of Sunni and Sheer, with dynamic new presentations of such hits as:-

The Beatings go on
The shoot shoot song
If I could turn back time
I got you babe

Police

2007-02-20T08:39:00.000Z

Just an administrative service for the insurance industry! Someone damages my car so I get a crime reference number or my insurance company won't process the claim. Highly unlikely that the Police will find out actually who did the damage to my car, or even if they do it's highly unlikely that any charges will be brought, or even if they are it's still highly unlikely that I'll get my £250 insurance excess back from them. So, by opting into society rules I end up paying and by opting out little scroats get away with stuff! Fantastic! Very bloody fair, not!

Has everyone noticed that they are called the Police Service nowadays and not the Police Force? What force do they actually have? They are a service....self-proclaimed!

Guns

2007-02-20T08:33:00.000Z

What's the answer to the gun-crime situation? I don't know to be honest, there probably isn't one, it's maybe just the way society is evolving(?) and something we have to face up to. I don't really understand why more of our own Police aren't armed given that most criminals are, what do they have to stop a criminal in his tracks? "Stop, or I'll say stop again!" Mmm, terrifying! Ok so they have little batons as well but they need to be within fighting range to use those, same with pepper spray, so why put them in that situation? If people (criminals) have made the choice to opt out of society rules then I say let them live or die by the consequences. Those of us that have decided to opt in should (and I use the word advisedly as there will always be accidents) be safer.

Whales

2007-02-17T11:17:00.000Z

It's fine for some countries to have a special animal or to see some animal as sacred, but it's not correct to impose that way of thinking on other countries; we have no logical reason to treat whales differently from the rest of the animal kingdom." Japanese minister.

If that alone is to be agreed with, as indeed it should then kill the beast humanely, the way we do (?) with all other animals. The fact is that killing a whale at sea the way they do is NOT humane and has been declared cruel and barbaric by even the most objective of observers.

Better still, why not just leave them be, there's plenty of other sustainable resources for food!

Kebab Night

2007-02-15T08:48:00.000Z

Well, obviously not yet as it's only 08:49 but later, couple of beers by way of a change and a kebab, wonderful. Kebabs burn your mouth and then subsequently your arse but that's probably cos they're made from lips and bums in the first place!

Just had a woman call up...sounded kinda middle-aged I guess..."Hello, yes!" Interesting way to start a conversation but who am I to query starting with an answer to a question that was never asked! "Can you tell me how much postage and packing is please?" Hmm, now we have about 1400 things that we sell, some weigh less than a few grammes, some weigh up to 30Kg..."Well" I answer, "What are you thinking of buying?" "I don't know yet." she said. "Well it depends on what it is you buy, where you'd like us to send it and how quickly you want to receive it." "Really?" she retorts obviously amazed.....(thinks....yes, really, now put the phone down, switch off your computer and take up knitting or traffic dodging on the M4). I ask you....1st call of the day, it CAN only get better surely????

Iraq....

2007-02-14T23:57:00.000Z

Apparently on Valentines night tonight, in our pub, if you were a couple, you would have been given a romantic gift; some Thorntons chocolates and a "facial". Hmm, ok well I have the porn industry in my head for some reason..."Facial?"...Maybe it's me!

We started compiling a list of anti-valentines tunes....
1. Love don't live here anymore
2. D-I-V-O-R-C-E
3.......

I need socks....

2007-02-14T18:32:00.000Z

All my socks have holes in, and no not just the end you stick your foot in either! I hate spending money on socks and pants, why do I NEVER get any for Christmas?

Johnny No Stars was on good form today, maybe becasue his g/f had bought him a Teddy Bear attached to some bloons. He hadn't got her anything, probably forgot! He had to go out lunchtime to get her something but there was an articulated lorry blocking almost everyone in, except me. I was tempted for a nano-second to lend him my car keys but then I remembered the time he hit another car in Langley and didn't know he's done it until the owner, 2 members of the public and a Policeman pointed it out to him! He can wait! I did text him to tell him to take his full hour though, then ratted on the lorry driver to his Boss! Ha ha! That'll learn ya!

What else happened today? Hmm, bugger all, nothing from Sword Of Mars, nothing from girlwithaonetrackmind....all a bit dull really! The Oracle is off cos it's half-term. Freak and MiseryGuts were banging on about absolutely fuck all again, had to hide in the warehouse for quite a while today...sent Beauty a Valentines e-Card that said "You'll Do!" which she and I thought was mildy amusing. Did you see Top Gear last night (repeated tonight), best one ever!

Valentines Day...!

2007-02-14T18:19:00.000Z

Yeah, so what, I don't love anyone and nobody loves me except those I know about and they're the only ones that count! I didn't receive or send any cards which is good. I sent some funny messages, well I thought they were anyway, from this site www.meish.org/vd .....

So, recruitment update: the guy I went to see on Friday has left the company, his colleague did tell me that was going to happen and that he would stand in and contact me. Someone entirely different from the same agency called me this morning to discuss something that they thought might interest me - the same fucking job I had been interviewed for on Friday! Twats! Well, almost the same job, in fact the one I had gone for had been filled (nobody told me) and this was the same job in a slightly different area for the same company! I told them to start communicating!

Another agency called me on Monday to see if I was still at IBM (having said they had just downloaded my CV from freindsreunitedjobs)...I told them that was about 3 years ago! Muppets! So, they asked for an updated copy of the CV, obviously yesterday's version was way too out of date for them! I sent a copy over on email and the guy tried to call me back from an anonymous number while I was having a pooh. He left a message (as I just had in the loo though mine was probably higher quality and more cohesive which given my penchant for hot curry and Guinness would have been an achievement) I digress.....I tried to call him back but he didn't answer. Today I called him, he got my name wrong and claimed he hadn't seen my CV. Twat! I sent it again. He called me again and demanded I go up to London Bridge for a meeting with him and one of his "senior" colleagues. From what I can deduce my very good friends 1 year old boy would be "senior" to him! I'm not going, it's a waste of a day off and I need the leave for proper interviews.

Thinking about spending maybe £1000 on a biggish ad' in one of the quality daily papers, maybe the Torygraph on a Thursday?

Monday Bloody Monday

2007-02-12T18:36:00.000Z

I was off on Friday. Hoping to find a new job. Met some people, well, loose description, recruitment consultants! Of course they promised to call me today having discussed me with their client. Naturally I heard nothing! Quelle surprise!

Mondays are never good at my work, we have a load of orders backed up from the weekend and Johnny No Stars insists (quite rightly to be honest) in getting them all out in one day. If it were my business I would want him to do the same but I still resent it as I have to bloody pack all the orders! Today he told he he hadn't opened his email as if he did he wouldn't be able to get all the orders processed! I had sent him 4 important emails that related to orders! Duh!

So, I'm a bit deflated today. I'll go for a few beers later, catch up with the boys. Things could be worse, I could have been in a market in Baghdad I guess! Poor bastards!

Maybe tomorrow...

2007-02-07T00:10:00.000Z

...I'll continue this brain dump

August 31st 2004

2007-02-06T23:54:00.000Z

"D" Day. The day we got the keys to the pub. We had agreed that two of the Ladies that had worked there for years were not necessarily going to be part of our onward plans, though they were given the chance to be involved. They rejected the plans and we had no choice but to make them redundant. When I say "we" I mean me, just me. Now, that's ok as I had "sleeping" partners and I had to do the good stuff as well as the tough stuff, no complaints here. From this day onward things changed....my sleeping partners woke up....

Every day one of my partners would turn up at 8am to see how the refurb' was going, but not just to see, more to direct. He, unbeknown to me had "booked" casual labour for the refurb so I had waifs and strays, jacks of all trades turning up expecting to be paid cash for doing very little. Some were good, many were appalling. I fell out with the appalling ones, they were the ones my "Partner" wanted to keep on. Things started to become a little tense....oh, by the way we had all three of us put £35k each into this project, I had given up my job to be on an agreed salary of £33k, they still had their jobs, company cars and salaries. Rule change No 1..."We didn't agree you would be earning until the pub was up and running." Ok, news to me but hey we'll be open in a few weeks so I can take that (my fault, bad negotiation I thought)...wanna read more?

2 guys I don't know....

2007-02-06T23:41:00.000Z

"So, you're xxxxx" Me "Yes that's me, so what of it?" Them..."You know your way around here and probably know everyone you need to know!" Me "Well, maybe, I know most people around here, what are you getting at?" Them (or one of them) "We want to buy the pub over the road and we need someone to run it, you interested?" Me......thinks....."Yes, I'm interested, what do you have in mind?" Them..."We need someone to front it, someone that knows everyone, someone that is well connected, we'd probably need you to put in some money, but you would run it, it would be your baby and we'd be sleeping partners just looking for an investment. What do you think?"

Ok, let's take a minute here. They were talking about the pub opposite the one we were in, the one I had grown to love over the last 15 years that had never(in my mind) been run properly. Go back a bit, I know about customer service, I had had meetings with Directors of that pub chain and told them where they were going wrong, that pub chain had given up and were selling the pub.

Take on board what I just said. Then understand that I couldn't have bought that pub on my own without selling my house. I would have sold my house but the market was rubbish. I thought about it, we had lots of "pub" meetings, we discussed loads of things.....I agreed to go for it. I contacted the agent selling the pub, I set up a limited company, I registered the limited company for VAT and did all the necessary limited company paperwork, I designed the letterhead, the logo for the pub, the colour scheme and the style, basically I did everything which was cool as they were being true to the word sleeping partners. So far so good....

How did I get here?

2007-02-06T23:27:00.000Z

Ok, let's go back a couple of years, say to 2001. I worked for a very large computer company, generally you can only buy their products on the internet but they had corporate customers too and I looked after 4 of them. Great customers too, good fun, knew the score and spent about $1m per month, made my target, made my commission, made shedloads of money. I was good at what I did though, 2 of those 4 customers when I inherited them wouldn't buy from us for a variety of good reasons, I changed things. That's what I do, change things. I was earning close to £100k pa, driving a nice car, living in my own home, doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Got bored though! Maybe a slight "oops" in hindsight, not sure.

Change is good and I did think I walked on water to a degree, mistake number 1! Anyway, I left that company, somewhat accrimoniously, couldn't go back, burnt bridges, lesson number 2. Don't do that!

Web designer, marketeer, customer service advocate, strategic consultant. Did that for a few years and it was ok, and I enjoyed it, and I wasn't bad at it either. Things move on....

One night, in the local pub two guys approached me. I had seen them about but didn't know them. They knew me which was odd, or I should say, they knew of me.....

Rubbish Day

2007-02-06T18:22:00.000Z

Yes it was a rubbish day but that's par for the course, this isn't about that. Where I live Tuesdays they collect the rubbish. I live in a flat over a Solicitors. The first week I put the rubbish out by the front door and it was collected and a replacement bag left. That's good. A few weeks on and one Tuesday I came home from work to find that the rubbish had been moved back onto the doorstep, not collected, but a new rubbish bag had also been left! Puzzling. Is there something wrong with my rubbish? Anyway, I noticed that the Solicitors (who have rather a lot of rubbish each week) put theirs out the back in the service lane behind. So I tried that. It worked but because I put my rubbish with theirs I had no new rubbish bag. Tits! Today, I left the rubbish out the front with the heap that the binmen had already started to pile up. I saw a binman and asked him to leave me a new shiney rubbish bag. He said he would. He didn't! So rubbish collected but no new bag. What's the solution I wonder? Muppetry!

Paedophiles, we can trust 'em!

2007-02-06T17:46:00.000Z

Yeah, they're the honest sort of people that if they have to give their online details to the cops they will tell the truth, they won't just go straight out and set up another account somewhere else, no, not them! What are we thinking? Asking them to play the game is akin to giving joy-riders a driving ban! It doesn't f-ing well work!

Allow them (if we have to) to have internet access only in libraries or internet cafes where any untoward behaviour might be spotted and then a member of the public can give them a good twatting (as we're being urged to do). Don't let them have a home computer! Yes that's right, stop them having one. Oh and don't give me this bollocks about infringing "their" human rights cos they gave them up when they started kiddy fiddling!